Sorry, the Three Boob Lady Only Has Two Boobs

If there's one thing the internet media loves, it's a sensational story about someone's weird plastic surgery. Like that Barbie doll lady from a while back. Or this chick who got surgery to give her an extra boob that everyone's going crazy about right now. But if there's another thing the media loves, it's not checking facts, and running stories that turn out to be dumb hoaxes. Like that chick who got surgery to give her an extra boob. Every media outlet on the web is racing to social media to mock "Jasmine Tridevil," a Tampa, Florida woman who reportedly told interviewers on a radio show that, in an effort to be less attractive to men, she found a dodgy surgeon who was willing to put an extra tit on her chest on condition that he signed a convenient non-disclosure agreement and agreed never to be identified. Amidst an avalanche of "Total Recall" jokes, now she's turning up in various selfies and promotional photos.

Of course, if any media outlet in the world was willing to do the five minutes of research that Snopes bothered to do, they would have discovered that Jasmine's real name is Alisha Hessler. Alisha is a professional prankster. We know that because only a few months ago she pranked the media again with another unlikely News of the Weird style story about getting beaten up and, in exchange for not pressing charges, making the guy stand by the road in a dunce cap. There's also the fact that Alisha runs a massage business in Tampa, with this disclaimer printed on its website:

So there's that.

It turns out we are still a few years away from that much anticipated tri-boob technology, and much as it might pain us, we're still stuck with two per torso. And that's okay, because there's not much point to it unless we also start giving people three hands. There's always Total Recall.