This year I had the rare privilege of seeing a whole new conspiracy emerge from the primordial depths. About a month back, the United States was frozen in an unprecedented cold snap via a weather phenomenon rather awesomely called the "polar vortex." Amidst the blizzards and the chilling frost, suspicious conspiracists decided, as with all things, that this was no accident. Sure enough, somebody got the bright idea to scoop up a snowball and hold a blowtorch to it to see what happened. Shock -